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My dad has a
scarred asshole. He made love with too many anonymous people
on the internet. Those guys always tell me they fucked my
dad, and of course I ask why they would do such a thing.
They say he is sexy, but my dad is an old man. Still, he is
very strong for a guy his age. Of course I am stronger, but
I am supposed to be in my prime. I hope it will last a
decade longer, because if this is my prime, I wonder what I
was into ten years ago, but none of that now. Internet
people also say that my dad got a strong asshole because
they fucked him so much. But I think he got mentally strong
by being fucked by so many gamers, but a scarred asshole
from being fucked in the ass so much. Internet-abuse never
stops there, though.
They also
tell me they fucked my mom. The same reply counts here. Why
would anyone want to fuck an old lady? My mom is good
looking and thin for a women her age, but I guess that women
in any case tend to lose more weight as they age. I’m
speaking of course about women who reach seventy, not women
who just gave birth, cut their hair and paint it red for
some reason. They tend to enlarge themselves, claiming that
is because they gave birth. Well, I don’t see a guy gaining
a lot of weight because he had to give birth. Guys drink too
much. Women who gave birth continue eating. But not my mom,
at least not when she just had given birth to me. That was
thirty years ago, but she never was fat. In fact, she was
very good looking. When my brother and I found a picture of
her in her twenties, we shouted out that she was hot! She
got all blushy, and my dad thought we shouldn’t say such
things, but I wonder if he thought any differently when he
decided to wait to fuck my mom áfter they got married. I
sure hope for him she was a good one, but I guess that counts for
her as well. I guess nothing could be worse than to wait
fucking until you get married, and having to discover that the woman
is one frigid bitch.
So I guess
its common sense to want to fuck my parents. Luckily, my mom
doesn’t have a scarred asshole, and she doesn’t mind my dad
having one, because they don’t touch each other there. I
wonder if they touch at all. A thousand years of marriage
isn’t something that enlivens the bedroom theater. But still
lots of people want to fuck them, and for good reason, cause
they gave birth to me, and I am one obnoxious motherfucker.
Well, not really obnoxious, but online I tend to kill myself
a lot, hampering my teams progress, and then make a smug
remark about it. Most people don’t understand, so they tell
me they fuck my parents, to which I reply that their mothers
are men, or that their dads are trees. Especially French
people are at a loss when I say that, particularly because
being Dutch and educated means I can say all of that to them
in their own language.
When they
tell me that my mother is fat, I think that is not true,
because I said so two paragraphs ago, so I never get angry.
But if my mother in fact wás fat, then the guy was
unknowingly speaking the truth, so I couldn’t get mad if I
wanted to. Playing online and saying to somebody there who has a fat mother that his mother is fat is the same as writing a
postcard to a random French person stating that the Eiffel
Tower is tall. I wonder what happens if you do that with a
hundred random French people. Even if just one of them
throws a tantrum over the mail, that would mean victory.
There is
actually little to be worried about. The worst thing people
can say during an online game is that you’re a noob. This
pisses me off to no extend, because it doesn’t. I am a noob,
and showing off your un-noobness to anonymous people is a
questionable practice at best. Of course its nice to show
off, but the net worth of things like that couldn’t help
Greece even if you shot and killed every digital being that
dared wander in your crosshairs. Maybe that’s why people
tell me that they fucked my sister, or my brother, or
anything legal that is supposed to piss me off. I know of
one instance where a guy said he fucked my little nephew. I
mean, really? The kid is but one year old, and I don’t think
such people would ever do that, but maybe in general they
refrain from saying stuff like that because others would
frown upon it and make them look like a noob, or kick them, or
worse: ban them. Oh no!
If
anyone
should fuck my dad or mom or sister or brother or nephew,
it’s me. In an on-line game, there is nobody who has more
right to do so than me. These noobs would be lucky to stand
in my shoes. And besides, they don’t even know my dad or mom
or sister or brother or nephew. I have quite a lot of those,
so it would take a lot of time to get to know them, let
alone fuck them. I only have one mom and one dad, so getting
to know just my parents would be the easiest task, so I
think thát is the reason why they talk about fucking anyones
mom or dad. It’s safe, and would require the least amount of
work. What's more, if they had some nasty sort of STD, they
would be dead by now, so you wouldn’t need a condom, which
is a hassle anyway and an act against God. So there we are.
The names
‘dad’, ‘mom’, ‘brother’, ‘sister’ and ‘nephew’ are
fictitious. |
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